Christmas… no one but myself and my laptop/SCJP K&B/NetBeans and Sideline


Toinkz! parang ang emo nung title e noh, parang naghahanap ng kapartner. Well medyo magulo ang utak ko at medyo baliw narin…

Simula nung nag hiwalay kame nung last kong ex, parang medyo nawalan na ako ng gana maghanap ng kapartner.. siguro nung mga una, kasi parang i needed someone to share my regrets and disspointment, di pa naman ako bato na absorb lang ng absorb, somehow i need some supports.

Yet time passed and i met new friends and discovered na there’s more that i can do with me, maraming pedeng maabot, maraming pedeng maisip at matutunan.. So medyo sinabi ko sa sarili ko na “okei jay, wag na maghanap.. be true to yourself, you don’t need anyone.. you need you to be better.. not anyone to be better”…. so i just did…

so?

so… medyo ganun ang tingn ko ngayon na need ko pa i-enhance ang sarili ko.. dapat magimprove ako araw araw… yet kahit ganun minsan naiisip ko pa din na medyo lonely ako at gusto kong ishare sa partner ko mga natututnan ko at supportahan ako…  iba kasi yun diba, mas may motivation yung ganun eh.

bat di ka maghanap?

Toinzk! di ako naghahanap… the point of my post is that sometimes i find myself alone na gustong may kausap or gustong may iimpress na hindi mayayabangan sakin.. na proud sakin… eto i hate to brag about this one pero medyo mapili ako sa babae pagdating sa appearance… (kahit ubod naman ako ng panget)…  hindi naman dapat sobrang ganda mo, pero sana presentable.. heheh!

Actually i have only imagine myself being in a relationship with 2 girls (crush ko tong mga toh eh).. 1) si toooot….. cutie eh, smart and thoughful…  2) si tooot… cutie din, mabait, approachable… dati mataray toh eh pero nung nagkausap ulit kame, wow.. parang hindi na siya eh.. sobrang nagbago talaga. I most wanted to be with the 2nd, kasi way back elementary pa lang, crush ko na siya eh.. talagang ang taray lang kasi talaga niya noon. heheeh!

Enought of this. Siguro i’ll focus on my goals first bago ko isipin yan… and when the time comes na hahanap ako.. etong dalawang toh ang una kong hahanapin.. (sawi pag may asawa na pareho)… toinkz!

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